Nightmares

I awoke at midnight witnessing images of you in my mind
I was reaching and you were hesitant
This constant confusion has gotten old
I awoke to laughter outside my window
And faint voices downstairs
I looked around in panic
The world was quiet
The voices wouldn't fade
I awoke in the morning to fear if death
The feeling of impending doom
I laid silently in my bed with a small fear
Had I finally lost my mind?
Now later in the day, I can't control what I say
Everything Is completely out of my control
I see you
I don't
I hear them
I don't
I couldfeel you take my hand but you didn't know if you should follow
But you came
You kissed my lips
Then you left
What am I supposed to do
I can't get over this idea
That giving up willruin something that can possibly be
Even after the most amazing time
With a feeling I finally wasnt alone
But I am alone
You didn't care enough to not pull away
So in a tearful regret
I realize I just don't care as much as I used to
Though I wake up at midnight missing you
And sometimes my thoughts wander towards you
Maybe I even hope sometimes
None of that matters
I still sometimes dream
But im starting to face the truth
I will never be with you