Falling

If I fall to my knees and kiss your feet
If I cry beg and plea
Will you look at me?
Please forgive me
I didn't mean to soak your shoes but these tears have no desire to cease
I'm looking for metaphors and imagery
Anything to ch everyone's senses to explain why I've lost my mind
I'm trying so hard to keep it simple
It's hard to find pretty words to describe such a darkness my heart has become
Laughing is so difficult
Smiling has become impossible too
They say without sleep I'll become depressed
My nights are filled with tossing, turning and thoughts of you
The dreams started of us together and turned to nightmares of you loving her
I wake so much I never feel rested
I'm a souless body
A mindless zombie
So numb from allthe pain
I'm walking through and imitating how everyone acts
Trying so hard to fit in
Everyone gets so angry because I have no gleeful tidbits to add in
Nothing positive to say
Ive been thrown down so many times
It's hard to speak
I hit the the floor and bite my tongue
They broke my teeth to stitch it together
I simply can not speak
I can not think
I can not be
So I'm sorry 
I'm sorry I'm so damn unhappy
I'm sorry if I ruined us
I'm sorry to the friends who are sick of my bullshit
But screw you all
I shouldn't have to apologize for being half dead
Come back just come back
Without you
Who the hell is gonna save me and stand up to fight for me
There is no one since you're gone