Let's Be Honest These Titles Don't Have Much to Do With the Poem

I don't know why I did it
Have you ever held the smallest plate in your hands
Fine china with the most delicate designs
Have you ever stared at it in comparison to your ugly gnarled fingers?
Have you ever wanted to crush that beauty?
I have
Putting away the plates from Christmas
I could smell the holidays in the cabinet
Starch
Because that's what Christmas was
A starched, stiff table cloth,
Candles and delicate tiny plates
That I wanted so badly to throw.

Have you ever laid in fresh laundry
And let the warmth consume you whole?
Have you ever wished that you were a piece of clothing
So you could forget the world?
I have
I want to be a dress that makes a girl giddy with glee
I'd be anything but a sock
Because sometimes those get lost and are left by their pair
Have you ever wanted to lay on the floor and cry?
Will the world to fade and die?
Or wanted to do the same but hide under blankets in warmth?

Do you know why?
Because I don't.

I want to play piano and sing my hearts woes
Though it may not be beautiful
It's a gracious relief
When my fingers dance across the keys
I feel beautiful and elegant
Like you told me I was
But now it's just pain transmitted
And I am a broken girl
Whose one purpose at the piano
Is to emote and leave.
I'd like to be alone
So I may just think
I don't know why I broke my things
But I swear it doesn't matter anymore
I'm so confused that I can't even think of why I should care that I hurt you
Or anyone for that matter
Because all I see in my mind
Is him entangled with another lover
And it's consuming me whole
I dont know why it bothers me
But I'd like to be alone