I'm laying here awake in the middle of the night replaying every sad song i own and staring at the ceiling
It's the middle of the night and I can't seem to fall asleep because every time I close my eyes I see your face
Every time i close my eyes I begin to hate myself a little more
I can't seem to find the right words to say how everything seems to have just fallen apart
I picked up the world and slipped causing it all to crash
Now I'm laying here sleepless because the nightmares are eating me alive
Because the lonely never rests
Because I cried a river and even built you a bridge from my tears
Because I'm laying here realizing how pathetic I am
I told you to leave and gave a stupid excuse instead of telling you the truth
You're always on my mind
I just don't matter enough to trust you but I do
I'm so afraid to sleep and more afraid to wake up
I'm avoiding mirrors because I can't stand to see myself
I just took you by the hands and shoved you out the door
I threw you out and gave up all I had and it'll never be okay again
I can never be okay
Now I'm pacing wishing you'd call to ask if it's really what I wanted
If it's really what I needed
If I'm okay
So I can say no
No
No
I want you, I need you, I'm the farthest thing from okay without you
All I ever wanted was for you to be happy even if it meant I had to lie
And that's the truth even if it's without me
Now I'm figuring out the truth hurts mainly when it's tainted with lies
Lies can't protect when they're laced with truth
It's as if I'm on the sweetest high singing to the world and suddenly the lights go out
It's fear at the greatest moments
It's being alone pretending I have all I needto be happy
All I need is me
So I ripped up your photograph
And threw away the roses you bought me
I erased you from my memory
But your face, your laugh, your eyes they haunt me
There is no escape from reality of the situation
Where I'm tip toeing onthe edge of not knowing you and me and losing my identity.
Either way at this point I lose you or me
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