I am destroyed

I am the pieces of a broken vase, clumsily put together, pretty to look at and impossible to hold

If you pick me up, I’ll cut your hands and crumble to nothing

I am destroyed

I am chain smoking until you feel sick

I am the smell of loneliness on your hands when you’re alone late in the evening crying softly 

                  wishing things would change

I am the step you take that twists your ankles but you have to keep moving because it’s not really that bad

I am the doctor’s visit that follows that shows you your leg is broken

Because I am destroyed

And I cannot let anyone know

I am everything no one wants

Because at every job they teach you that no one likes unhappy

I am everything they do not want you to be

No one likes pain

I am everything they try to hide

We are what we are and there is nothing else but earth and society

I am claustrophobia so extreme that the universe feels so small and suffocating

Because how can we be free if there’s nowhere to go but somewhere on this planet or in this universe? We are so limited by boundless opportunities

I think maybe I’m evil

The way I tear things apart

The way I crumble at your touch

It’s like I’m hiding behind this façade and before you can run from me

I turn into something new

I am destroyed, you see.

So please don’t follow me.