Addicted

I may no be pretty
I may not be perfect
I'm obnoxious and cold and honest and mean
A true bitch if you'd please
I may not laugh
I may not smile
I'm quiet but loud and angry and violent
I may not be unhappy
I may not be ecstatic
I'm sad and depressed and afraid but I love to laugh
You may be my drug
You may be my ecstasy
You keep me happy and jubilant and in euphoria 
Just a state i have no desire to leave
I lie each day saying I don't do drugs
Because I'm high on life
I'm huffing memories of you
And smoking my love
I'm snorting this need for your happiness
And popping the pills that will keep your image alive
I'm killing myself with this addiction
I can't live with you
But I swear without you I will cease this god forsaken existence
I'm no addict I promise
There is no denial here
Just leave me broken in this room
Let me get blazed on the idea of seeing you
Let me be in my mind that has gone somewhere else in this world
I'm downing shots to keep you alive 
I'm lost in my need 
I yearn for my dealer
But that bastards been arrested
You dumped me here
I'm trying to detox
But baby
Baby
Baby
Just come back and be my supplier
I can't live like this
I justcan not exist with this reliance on you and you and not me
I can not live